Seeking a reliable, quiet roommate for a unique tenancy. The apartment is structurally non-Euclidean, which means basic spatial logic is optional. Key features include a primary stairwell that cyclically returns to the landing floor, regardless of vertical ascent, and a kitchen accessible only by passing through a localized temporal fold (we call it the 4th dimension). The living room features walls that curve inward only to straighten out again twenty feet later. All furniture is bolted down with titanium anchors to account for localized gravitational shifts. Must be comfortable with the fact that the window view sometimes shows the interior of the building’s ventilation shaft, and the bathroom sink appears to be floating slightly outside the established plane. Utilities are provided, though we recommend bringing your own sense of directional certainty. Deposit required.
static · calm