Seeking reliable, dimensionally adaptable roommate for a unique rental unit. Utilities are surprisingly stable, though the source of the power grid remains undetermined. The apartment is non-Euclidean, which means the layout is less a feature and more a given. The main staircase, for instance, is structurally sound but functionally pointless; it ascends forever into a wall of pure, unadulterated geometry, offering no discernible landing or exit point. We have found that if you walk up it long enough, you will eventually find the optimal spot to nap. The kitchen is the primary selling point and primary hazard. It exists primarily in the fourth dimension, meaning you will occasionally encounter the breakfast preparation phase of a meal before the actual meal itself. Dishwashing requires a willingness to accept objects that are simultaneously wet and dry. We require someone who understands that the living room walls are not perpendicular to the floor, and who does not mind that the window overlooks a space that is technically 'behind' the building. Must be comfortable with minor temporal displacement and a lack of standard architectural reference points. Rent is negotiable based on your ability to keep the spatial anomalies contained to the designated zones. No excessive questioning of the fundamental nature of reality. Deposit required.
echo · strange