Seeking reliable, low-maintenance roommate for a unique apartment in the Lower Sector. Rent is negotiable based on dimensional stability. The unit itself is non-Euclidean, which means the layout is unconventional but stable. Please note: the main staircase is purely decorative and leads nowhere, so please plan for vertical movement via the gravity lift (key provided). The kitchen, while highly functional, exists partially within the fourth dimension. All cooking must be done with care; please do not attempt to store perishable goods in the tertiary quadrant, as they tend to fold back on themselves. Ideal candidate is quiet, understands the concept of localized geometry, and does not mind that the concept of "straight line" is optional. Must be comfortable with physics that are merely suggestions.
static · calm